Ice Cream and Whores

{Verse One}

-Defendant-

Today – Today – Today is my last day of court

My last day as a free man

My last day as a sport

Continue to call me nice names and down my face, tears will pour

I don’t want to be known as a criminal anymore

I don’t want to live in a prison cell and be nothing but bored

All I want in life is Ice Cream – Ice Cream and Whores

Ice Cream and Whores scattered around my front porch

I want the things in life that you can’t bring to court

Every day I expect a new girl – Every day I expect to score

I want these things in life to come forth

Ice Cream and Whores will be the name of my “Opening Soon” Liquor store

Ice Cream and Whores is the name of the cream you use to get rid of bed sores

Ice Cream and Whores, You want it that bad…

(Drive North!)

That’ll be my slogan of course

Because all I want in life is Ice Cream and Whores

{Chorus One}

-Defendant-

I scream for Ice Cream – I want Dairy Queen

Yeah, that’s what I need – That’s what I dream

Deep down inside of me

Ice Cream is what I fiend

I want Ice Cream more than anybody

Yes, I rest my case – I plead

So can I have some, please?

(The pound of a Judge’s gavel - twice in a row)

I adore a room full of Whores - I want the ones from Jersey Shore

Yeah, I’m one-hundred percent sure - That’s what I’m looking for

Down and dirty on the floor

Whores are what I like to explore

I want Whores more than my perverted mentor

Yes, I rest my case – Hardcore

So can I have some, pour-favor?

(The pound of a Judge’s gavel - twice in a row)

{Verse Two}

-Judge-

Today – Today – Today is your last day of court

Your last day for fun and games

Your last day to purchase pints or quarts

Continue to be wise with me and out of my mouth you’ll hear a roar

I don’t want you to be known as a criminal anymore

I don’t want you to live in a prison cell while goods you horde

Because I know all you want in life is Ice Cream – Ice Cream and Whores

Ice Cream and Whores scattered around your front door

I know you want the things in life that you can’t bring to court

Every day I see you with a new girl – Every day I hear how much you score

I know you want these things in life to become your world, Your core

Ice Cream and Whores will be the brand of clothing your new cellmate wore

Ice Cream and Whores is a brand of Vodka that your new cellmate just poured

Ice Cream and Whores, You want it that bad…

(Come Forth!)

That’ll be the courts slogan of course

Because we know all you want in life is Ice Cream and Whores

{Chorus Two}

-Defendant-

I scream for Ice Cream – I want Dairy Queen

Yeah, that’s what I need – That’s what I dream

Deep down inside of me

Ice Cream is what I fiend

I want Ice Cream more than anybody

Yes, I rest my case – I plead

So can I have some, please?

(The pound of a Judge’s gavel - twice in a row)

I adore a room full of Whores - I want the ones from Jersey Shore

Yeah, I’m one-hundred percent sure - That’s what I’m looking for

Down and dirty on the floor

Whores are what I like to explore

I want Whores more than my perverted mentor

Yes, I rest my case – Hardcore

So can I have some, pour-favor?

(The pound of a Judge’s gavel - twice in a row)

{Verse Three}

-Defendant-

Yesterday – Yesterday – Yesterday was my last day of court

My last day for walking the streets

My last day to eat pork

Continue to call me a criminal and with one hit of my fist, I’ll make you snore

I don’t want to be known as a criminal anymore

I don’t want to live in a prison cell with my cellmate Igor

All I want in life is Ice Cream – Ice Cream and Whores

Ice Cream and Whores scattered around on my floor

I want the things in life that you can’t bring to court

Every day I had a new girl – Every day I had to score

I miss these things in life that I would consider a chore

Ice Cream and Whores will distract the guards, which me they’ll choose to ignore

Ice Cream and Whores is a decoy, which I call a metaphor

Ice Cream and Whores, You want it that bad…

(Join the Force!)

That’ll be my slogan of course

Because all I want in life is Ice Cream and Whores

{Chorus Three}

-Defendant-

I scream for Ice Cream – I want Dairy Queen

Yeah, that’s what I need – That’s what I dream

Deep down inside of me

Ice Cream is what I fiend

I want Ice Cream more than anybody

Yes, I rest my case – I plead

So can I have some, please?

(The pound of a Judge’s gavel - twice in a row)

I adore a room full of Whores - I want the ones from Jersey Shore

Yeah, I’m one-hundred percent sure - That’s what I’m looking for

Down and dirty on the floor

Whores are what I like to explore

I want Whores more than my perverted mentor

Yes, I rest my case – Hardcore

So can I have some, pour-favor?

(The pound of a Judge’s gavel - twice in a row)