Ice Cream and Whores
{Verse One}
-Defendant-
Today – Today – Today is my last day of court
My last day as a free man
My last day as a sport
Continue to call me nice names and down my face, tears will pour
I don’t want to be known as a criminal anymore
I don’t want to live in a prison cell and be nothing but bored
All I want in life is Ice Cream – Ice Cream and Whores
Ice Cream and Whores scattered around my front porch
I want the things in life that you can’t bring to court
Every day I expect a new girl – Every day I expect to score
I want these things in life to come forth
Ice Cream and Whores will be the name of my “Opening Soon” Liquor store
Ice Cream and Whores is the name of the cream you use to get rid of bed sores
Ice Cream and Whores, You want it that bad…
(Drive North!)
That’ll be my slogan of course
Because all I want in life is Ice Cream and Whores
{Chorus One}
-Defendant-
I scream for Ice Cream – I want Dairy Queen
Yeah, that’s what I need – That’s what I dream
Deep down inside of me
Ice Cream is what I fiend
I want Ice Cream more than anybody
Yes, I rest my case – I plead
So can I have some, please?
(The pound of a Judge’s gavel - twice in a row)
I adore a room full of Whores - I want the ones from Jersey Shore
Yeah, I’m one-hundred percent sure - That’s what I’m looking for
Down and dirty on the floor
Whores are what I like to explore
I want Whores more than my perverted mentor
Yes, I rest my case – Hardcore
So can I have some, pour-favor?
(The pound of a Judge’s gavel - twice in a row)
{Verse Two}
-Judge-
Today – Today – Today is your last day of court
Your last day for fun and games
Your last day to purchase pints or quarts
Continue to be wise with me and out of my mouth you’ll hear a roar
I don’t want you to be known as a criminal anymore
I don’t want you to live in a prison cell while goods you horde
Because I know all you want in life is Ice Cream – Ice Cream and Whores
Ice Cream and Whores scattered around your front door
I know you want the things in life that you can’t bring to court
Every day I see you with a new girl – Every day I hear how much you score
I know you want these things in life to become your world, Your core
Ice Cream and Whores will be the brand of clothing your new cellmate wore
Ice Cream and Whores is a brand of Vodka that your new cellmate just poured
Ice Cream and Whores, You want it that bad…
(Come Forth!)
That’ll be the courts slogan of course
Because we know all you want in life is Ice Cream and Whores
{Chorus Two}
-Defendant-
I scream for Ice Cream – I want Dairy Queen
Yeah, that’s what I need – That’s what I dream
Deep down inside of me
Ice Cream is what I fiend
I want Ice Cream more than anybody
Yes, I rest my case – I plead
So can I have some, please?
(The pound of a Judge’s gavel - twice in a row)
I adore a room full of Whores - I want the ones from Jersey Shore
Yeah, I’m one-hundred percent sure - That’s what I’m looking for
Down and dirty on the floor
Whores are what I like to explore
I want Whores more than my perverted mentor
Yes, I rest my case – Hardcore
So can I have some, pour-favor?
(The pound of a Judge’s gavel - twice in a row)
{Verse Three}
-Defendant-
Yesterday – Yesterday – Yesterday was my last day of court
My last day for walking the streets
My last day to eat pork
Continue to call me a criminal and with one hit of my fist, I’ll make you snore
I don’t want to be known as a criminal anymore
I don’t want to live in a prison cell with my cellmate Igor
All I want in life is Ice Cream – Ice Cream and Whores
Ice Cream and Whores scattered around on my floor
I want the things in life that you can’t bring to court
Every day I had a new girl – Every day I had to score
I miss these things in life that I would consider a chore
Ice Cream and Whores will distract the guards, which me they’ll choose to ignore
Ice Cream and Whores is a decoy, which I call a metaphor
Ice Cream and Whores, You want it that bad…
(Join the Force!)
That’ll be my slogan of course
Because all I want in life is Ice Cream and Whores
{Chorus Three}
-Defendant-
I scream for Ice Cream – I want Dairy Queen
Yeah, that’s what I need – That’s what I dream
Deep down inside of me
Ice Cream is what I fiend
I want Ice Cream more than anybody
Yes, I rest my case – I plead
So can I have some, please?
(The pound of a Judge’s gavel - twice in a row)
I adore a room full of Whores - I want the ones from Jersey Shore
Yeah, I’m one-hundred percent sure - That’s what I’m looking for
Down and dirty on the floor
Whores are what I like to explore
I want Whores more than my perverted mentor
Yes, I rest my case – Hardcore
So can I have some, pour-favor?
(The pound of a Judge’s gavel - twice in a row)